I haven’t had my own house since June 2018. By the time we move into our own home this summer it will have been over 2 years. We have been staying in other people’s spaces this whole time.
The longing to be back in an environment that is comfortably ours has been increasing lately. This morning I looked at the kitchen shelf and longed for when I could display things in a way that is beautiful and inspiring to me. Just this little corner of glass jars with wooden tops makes me happy to anticipate what will come.
I used to think about the quote “hope deferred makes the heart sick” and relate to it immensely. But I’ve had so much deferment in the last 10 years that I’ve come to recognize my longings and hold them up, eyes closed saying “you take it” to the Lord . And in exchange he gives me more capacity to be patient, more space to find my contentment in him, and moments, relationships. More awareness to live in the present moment and enjoy it more than I would have is growing. And choose to rest in the thought that this time of feeling settled, have a restful home to return to, a space that reflects our family, will come.
But it’s not what he has for me now. I used to think 7 months of floating around the US from house to house, away from my own was excruciating. But 2 years. I never would have thought that I’d be OK with this. It’s only the work of the Spirit in me. The work of opening my hands more to his plans and purposes for my life. So many good things have come out of these 2 years.