- Find a group of people to meet in a home that are wanting more from their spiritual community. Talk about your tensions with what you experience now without letting it turn into a bashing session (hard I know, when you are in pain, but a dangerous foundation to lay as a new beginning). Share a meal together, talk about hopes and dreams. If your group has kids talk about what you want for your kids to learn from this time. About themselves, and about God.
- With the group above, begin a look into Acts, the beginning of the first church and take note of what they did with “one another”. Talk about in your current experience of church what is cultural and what is biblical. Have some silence and listen for what God might be inviting you as a group of how to spend time together. Pay attention to “shoulds” and only follow the “invitations”.
- Take a spiritual gifts assessment and talk together about what you have to give to the body you are with. Everyone should feel freedom to excercise their gifts, male or female if you want this to be a balanced group.
- Meet and discuss what you want to begin doing with “one another”
- Visit a church of an entirely different ethnicity and notice how they do things differently than your church of origin, good or bad. How does the spirit seem to be leading them?
- Read some books (or form a book club to process what your reading) that prods new thinking for you. Below are some ideas: (remember, you may not agree with everything in a book, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some gems in there for you. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater) Searching for Sunday, Letters to the Church, The Irresistable Revolution, Life Together, Soul Repair, Wild in the Hollow and for the truly open minded – Dance of the Dissident Daughter.(* I didn’t resonate with everything in her book, but to read her journey was fascinating and it opened up courage and space in my heart to examine where I had been silenced and what God was inviting me into.)
- Instead of going to church, go to a park or somewhere that inspires you and you can focus and not be distracted. Bring the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook with you and take the quiz on pg. ? and discover connecting with God in new ways.
- Start a discovery bible study. See what new things open up, and where God leads you together.
- Meet with a spiritual director and begin to unpack your experience of God and his activity in your life.
- Above all, honor the longing you have to find the true kingdom at hand, and give yourself grace and time to try unconventional methods to get there. As you go looking, pay attention to the fruit you hear from different voices that are out there. Do you hear judgement? Do you hear anger over and over in there content? Probably not wise to allow them to lead you somewhere, cause it may not be fresh water.
Tag: deconstructing
Deconstructing Church pt.3
When we made our visit back to our passport country things didn’t turn out the way we were expecting. In many cases friends of ours were leaving our sending church as leadership changed and we became the safe people to process their feelings with. Because we no longer attended from living overseas we were removed enough. We also had friends that were facing decisions like get counseling or divorce. The biggest thing that stuck out to me as we met with people was that many didn’t feel close to God, didn’t know how to hear the spirit on there own, and were burdened under a cloud of discouragement and lies. When I asked just a few questions it didn’t take long to see many people were enslaved to the cultural value of “busy” . And didn’t see that they had a choice in the matter. And were still leaning on the crutch of the structures/programs/pastor of the church for there own spiritual growth. They were still babies drinking spiritual milk.
Needless to say we were counseling alot of people that weren’t finding the community and support they needed in the church. We were pretty discouraged and exausted by the end of that trip.
Have you heard that saying “Leaders cant lead you where they haven’t been?” Well its true. As people in the church going through crisis slipped through the cracks many were getting dissalussioned with the church and more sadly with God. And many that we talk to today that kept crying out to God when there percieved community was falling apart began there journey toward the kingdom as they left the church. Some didn’t make it past there dissapointment with God.
Even though we had experienced and grown a lot that first 2 years we still didn’t have all the tools needed to help lead the “thirsty to water” back in the states. We did know that simplifying our lives, and taking responsibility for own growth with the Lord was what put us on a path to deconstruction and ultimately true community.
But communicating this to our friends was met with fear and self limiting beliefs. Let me tell you the judgmental spirit in the church is alive and well when you can’t make a decision that looks different than the majority without fear that God’s people will judge and label you. Now I know that when I encounter this in people it actually stems from them judging themselves and believing lies about God’s expectations of them. I can have compassion on how hurting they are. But until you get to a place where you can see that, you just become more and more hurt and turned off by God’s people. Where is this abundant life Jesus talks about?
TO BE CONTINUED…